My neighbors are not and I went a really long time not having to deal with any of them other than Nosy Neighbor.
However, the tides have changed now that I work from home mostly. The first situation began with Georgie. He is a little neighbor boy who looks like he is straight from the ’50s.
Me: So Georgie came by my window today while I was reading.
Legal Eagle: Is his name really Georgie?
Me: Oh no, that’s just what I call him because he looks old-fashioned and it was the first old-fashioned name I could think of. I don’t know his real name.
LE: OK.
Me: So Schatzi was in the window and Georgie came by and was like “Hi.” And then he just hung out trying to play with Schatzi through the window while I am lying on my bed reading.
LE: Weird.
And stuff like this has continued. He has come by my window many times after school and given me a hello, but just the other day he crossed the line. He tried to sell me school fundraiser items (like jewelry or chocolate as he put it). He thinks we are such good friends that I will buy that sucker crap! I didn’t buy because as he asked I was thinking about my credit card bill.
Well, needless to say this relationship needs to be adjusted.
However, he is not my only friendly neighbor.
There are these older women down a few apartments who occasionally sit outside and gossip. We’ll call them the Gossip Girls. One has often complimented me and LE, saying we always look so nice. Now, I would LOVE to be friends with them and put on my best smoker’s accent and have my coffee black and wear some house slippers while chatting with them in the middle of the day, but alas, they are not the friends I have.
One GG has a husband. He’s perfectly nice and all, but has become very chatty. We’ll call him GGH (Gossip Girl Hubby).
Yesterday as my window is wide open for the cats to enjoy, however my desk is in sight of my window:
GGH: Well, you’re on the computer about as much as we are.
Me: (wondering why there is a man at my window) Oh yeah, work of course (making it clear I don’t surf for porn).
GGH: I thought we were the only ones. We’ve got four computers and two printers and who knows what else.
Me: (really wondering why two people would need four computers) Oh, yeah, I know (staring at my one computer and zero printers).
And then today:
GGH: Hi neighbor.
Me: Hey. How are you?
GGH: Good. So you have high speed internet?
Me: Yeah (not having any idea if I have high speed, but assuming mine is at least medium to high speed).
GGH: Through Time Warner.
Me: Yeah! (realizing we do use Time Warner, but also realizing we might have DSL?)
GGH: Yeah, us too. We tried to get dial-up and DSL, but it was too slow.
Me: I know. (No I don’t).
GGH: Take it easy.
Me: You too.
Now, I can play this situation a number of ways. I can start closing/semi-closing my blinds, thus depriving my cats of doing whatever it is they do at the window. Or I can totally take this on and even have like a persona for each neighbor that I snap into. This could be fun. And who knows, being chatty with GGH might lead me to hanging out with the GGs!
Well, for now, here’s to me and my neighbors!
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