Day 129 - Video Hell

Have I always had no chin???

^My first thought upon seeing Bride Brain's wedding video.

Stand up straight you lazy bum!!!

^My second thought.


I hate being soooo negative though since that's all women ever do. So what is good about the video? My hair looks nice and the dress isn't so miserable. I look good in some shots. My teeth look straight and white. Skin and makeup look good. In general, I don't look that bad. There are just some awkward shots. Legal Eagle looks really good, although she'll claim otherwise. She is standing straight the whole time! And her hair and makeup look great and the dress does too, despite what she'll say.

Day 117 - Oh Blog...

...I have been so neglectful!! I promise to post pictures of the infamous wedding and my birthday, but first I have a new job! It's a temp gig, but full-time for now and so I have been taking pictures of my outfits all week. Why? Because I am obsessed with myself. So here is what I wore (oh, and I think I will try to do this every week.):


^Monday! A classic "first day at work" outfit for me. This dress has even survived a very scary caught in the rain dye accident. I love it so.


^Tuesday! Channeling Grease?


^Wednesday! I so love this dress too and it was only like $7. Doesn't get much better than that.


^Thursday! I tried on about 5 different outfits this day. I feel like it's something my mom would wear, except she would've thrown on some awesome necklace with it.


^Friday! I had no idea I'd love this combo so much, especially with the shirt tucked in, but I am in loooove.

Hope you enjoyed! Happy Friday and weekend!!

Day 110 - "You Look...

...very after-school special."

^What Legal Eagle said to me yesterday.

Wedding pictures TK, just been busy and LE's parents are visiting tomorrow.

Day 109 cont. - I Am Now Smarter Than I Was On 9/26/08

Today I wrote a post titled DOOMSDAY and on the above date, I also wrote a post titled DOOMSDAY, except I spelled it Doom's Day as if the day belonged to a person named Doom. Oy.

One more thing, Legal Eagle and I got the itinerary for the wedding and we have to go to the earliest hair appointments! We knew it!!

Also, khaki is considered dressy. I hate Iowa.

Day 109 - DOOMSDAY!!!

It's here!! Tomorrow at 4:15 am, Legal Eagle and I are being picked up by a shuttle to head to Chicago and Iowa for BRIDEBRAIN'S WEDDING!!

First, we fly into Chicago and stay with my family (and mooch off of them) and then we drive to Iowa for the wedding...and eventually drive back to Chicago to fly back to L.A.

I'm pretty excited. Mostly because I get to see my family and haven't seen them since February! It'll be nice to get out of California and sort of regroup. Also excited because I love flying and airports in general and always better when traveling with someone (even if LE hates flying and makes me stay awake the whole time).

And I must say I am slightly excited about the wedding, not because of the wedding, but because I know LE and I will make it hilarious and will stick out like sore thumbs. I predict we come home with many stories and even more pictures.

To hold you over until I return from my trip, here is a picture of the shoes I will be wearing:


^Silver, which is lame, but LE and I thought they looked a little gladiator-ish, so we thought that made them cooler. My mom confirmed this thought without me having to mention it, so I'm a bit more sold on them then I was at first.

Day 73 - OK, Stick With It

So I'm pretty sure I didn't get this job I wanted and I was all mopey, but now I'm bouncing back.

I'm going with the saying that obviously I wasn't meant to get it for whatever reason. OK. Done obsessing over it!

Now I've decided to really work on this freelancing thing. I mean, yeah, I've been working on it, but it's time to really start branching out and getting my writing going.

I haven't been writing as much as I want to be, so I'm sooo going to focus. It'll be like I'm on Focus-in or something.

I'm trying to write about the whole wedding thing with Bride Brain, but am having trouble. Maybe I should get my oldest sister's help.

Other than that, short post today. Going to Target with gift cards in hand this weekend. Thanks to the parents and LE's family too!

And doing the taxes as well, with a bottle of tequila. Sounds productive to me.

Did I mention yet that we have a cute neighbor? He's a little goobery and plays video games a lot, but I really think he is totally LE's type. Perfection...

Day 64 - Debt-free Dinner

Last week, Legal Eagle invited me to some lawyer dinner thing that her boss was taking her office to.

LE: So you want to come?

Me: Will it be horribly boring?

LE: [Boss] is paying for dinner, it’s like $40.

Me: Oooh…I haven’t had someone buy me dinner in a long time.

LE: I just bought us dinner the other night.

Me: Yeah, but this is debt-free. I always have to buy you dinner back.

This is when I discovered that I no longer will be going on dates. I will be going on debt-free dinners, debt-free movies, debt-free comedy shows (well that last one is just a dream).



^ Best image I could find of my debt-free dinner. Hmm…not quite what I was hoping for.

Onto other things.

Bride Brain’s matron-of-honor emailed all us gals (worst word ever, but seems fitting) about the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

The email was in hot pink. Try reading an email in hot pink if you never have. Fun times.

It said something along the lines of this:

I’m planning the shower for April so BB can have all of May to relax. (Why? Is she having surgery??) We need a venue, food, drinks, blah blah blah. Let’s get cracking!

OK, so really only the first sentence was like what she said, but you get it.

So, I responded as such:

Dear Holy Matron of Honor,

I am but a meager freelancer living in the slums of California. I would give my right arm to participate in these joyous occasion, but alas, I have yet to find someone in need of a random right arm.

Therefore, I would like to offer my help in any way I can (from a distance). I will make crafty projects out of newspaper clippings or bake cookies from leftovers. While I am not familiar with [city], I would be more than happy to search around high and low for a place to hold this momentous event.

Thank you for including little, poor me in your wonderful world of weddings.

In awe,

Me

P.S. LE can’t come either. She hates this whole wedding.

OK, so maybe that isn’t word for word, but I did mention that we can’t afford it. And then…………………………

MOH emailed back (and FORWARDED it to everyone!) because she included bachelorette stuff, so now everyone knows we’re poor!

And she was all like “Oh, so sad you can’t come.” Yeah, right!

Now I tried to find an image of an evil bridesmaid, but had no luck. So I Googled “hate weddings” and here is the first image.

Day 43 - Attack Of The Bride Brain

OK, the wedding stuff is now out of control.

We got a response to all of our questions from Bride Brain and it was mighty long.

First, she told us she is going to get us a bigger size than what is measured so that we can just get it altered, to which Legal Eagle said:

Why not just buy us what size we measured and then we don’t have to pay for alterations?

LE and me: 1 BB: 0

The dresses, we were informed after we made sure to ask, will cost about $160. Ouch. And we were naive enough to think she was treating since she is ordering and wouldn’t let us get them out here. Oh, and since I’m tall, I get to pay extra for extra length.

LE and me: 1 BB: 1

And we were informed that the shoes will be 1 or 2 inches, no more. I have two pairs of small heeled shoes and only because they are awesome. And I know they are going to be those cliched bridal party shoes. If this is the case, can’t we just wear flip-flops?

LE and me:1 BB:2

Now, the rehearsal is on a Friday, wedding on Saturday, brunch and gift opening on Sunday. We plan on having to fly back on Sunday (although we might stick around and nurse our hangovers, order room service and laugh about all the awkward moments from the previous night), but BB won’t know and we are NOT going to a gift opening.

LE and me: 2 BB:2

She caught on to the boyfriend thing LE mentioned and has now asked about them. As Gary from WILAY would say, “Oh my damn.” But LE is very focused and going to take this on full steam ahead, so looks like I am on board.

This is a toss up as it could go well and we could get boyfriends, or horribly and get lost in our lies.

LE and me: 2 BB:2

She told us we might want to look at staying at the hotel that her and her hubby-to-be will stay the night of the wedding…ew!

LE and me: 2 BB:2 my mind:forever tortured



^Bride Brain

So LE had a brilliant idea that tonight, after working out, we will eat, crack open a bottle of wine and reply with all the news about our boyfriends. Again, “Oh my damn.”

Oh, but here is an awesome conversation LE and I had about our “boyfriends.”

LE: You’re gonna be like, “Oh, this is Juniper.”

Me: Juniper? Why would my fake boyfriend be named Juniper?

LE: You’ll be Molly and Juniper.

Me: (beginning to laugh).

LE: Mine will be like, “Babe I can’t find my name for seating.” And I’ll be like, “It’s under JoJo. You’re sitting next to Juniper.”

Me: JoJo? (more laughing)

LE: Yeah, JoJo and Juniper.

Me: They sound like a partnership of some sort.

LE: Hmm…let’s just hope they’re not that type of partnership.

Now I really can’t wait to meet JoJo and Juniper!

Day 41 - Doom's Day

Legal Eagle and I are going to get measured for our bridesmaid dresses for Bride Brain’s big day. We are not pleased about this at all seeing as though she had originally told us we needed them by January and then a couple of weeks ago she asked if we could do this soon. Then, just this week, she asked us to have it done by October 3rd.

I am not at my goal weight of: Rachel Zoe.



^Scary! Sorry!

Needless to say, wedding stuff is troublesome. There is way too much to do especially since we are out-of-state. Not to mention, expensive! But on the upside, I think we could have quite a good time being the rebels of the wedding.

Pretty sure all the other bridesmaids are married/engaged/soon to be engaged/or seriously dating. And I’m pretty sure they all LOVE weddings! (Other than LE obviously). So it might be kind of fun when they realize how not into all of this we are. Not that I plan on ruining her day or anything, but I don’t plan on “ooh”-ing or “aah”-ing either.

Plus, have I mentioned that we will have to ride on a a trolley. Now, I’m not sure how I feel about this, but would normally be like, “Awesome, trolley!” But I can’t imagine I will enjoy it much with the company that will be there.

LE and I plan to make the best of it. And hopefully with her help, I’ll have some fun. Well, all I know for sure is that we are strapping flasks to our legs. That is a necessity!

Day 30 - A Bit To Catch Me Up

Yesterday morning Legal Eagle and I were getting ready to go to the gym and here is how it went:

Me ready and waiting in the livingroom.

LE: (some muffled talking in her room)

Me: What?

LE: (more muffled talking)

Me: What? Are you talking to me? (as I proceed to walk to LE’s room)

Upon entering LE’s room, I do not see her, but do see her closet door closed and Barbar (my cat) laying on her floor near her closet.

Me: What are you doing?

LE: Can you help me out of here?

Yes, LE was locked in her closet by my cat.

And I know LE will want to kill me for posting this, but it is like right out of a WILAY episode! Plus it has given me nonstop laughter every time I think about it.

On another note, I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I was trying to get a job and I had to go through all these obstacles and chase down the person I was interviewing with and all sorts of craziness. Like I needed to dream this, could it all be more obvious.

But it’s kind of like when Holly dreams about being in Gilligan’s Island.



^ I’ve been waiting for a reason to use this picture.

And finally, on a completely different note: LE and I have an old roomie (who I will refer to as Bride Brain or BB) who has put us in her wedding.

Note: we rarely talk and we dislike her groom of choice. Also, she emailed us yesterday about getting our measurements in and all sorts of stuff about her new house, blah blah and did not once ask anything about us. LE and I are not pleased.

I am not happy with this wedding. And I don’t have a date yet. What’s a girl to do?!