Day 231 - A Letter I Want To Write

Dear People Who Live Next To Me,

Your baby, she cries a lot. Wait, cries is the wrong word. She screams and wails at a decibel I'm not familiar with. It's this guttural scream that isn't exactly human. Have you heard it? Oh! You have?? When? Possibly at 6:00am? Or maybe 5:00am like this morning? So you are aware that this sound is occurring at insane hours? Good to know.

Well, your demon child has been waking me up every.single.morning. It's nice that you put her bedroom in the room that shares a wall with mine. Smart! And it's also nice that you apparently do nothing to shut her up when she makes this beastly sound. It was really nice when you stopped by months ago and said that for the next three days you'd have to let her cry because the doctor said she will learn that way or something. When did three days turn into three months?

I'd say I hate your baby, but I don't think I'm allowed to blame the baby for this. Like, babies cry and you just deal. So, I'm going to hate you. Sooooo much.

I mean, why is your baby crying every morning? And often during the day? What are you doing over there?

It's gotten to the point where I can't remember when I slept through the night while in my room. Your screaming baby even wakes up the cats over here. And they sleep like rocks!

Furthermore, please do not tell me, "Well babies cry. What can I do?" I don't care. I have not had a baby. Therefore, why should I be waking up to a screaming baby? I should not be punished for your poor life decisions.

Well, it's also gotten to the point where Legal Eagle has offered to let me to stay in her room whenever I want. Honestly. I should not be chased out of my own bedroom like this. Every morning I feel a little more insane.

And on a side note: WTF do you two do for work? I see your husband working on the same two cars all the time and you are at home with about 50 nannies...who apparently also cannot stop the crying baby.

And on another side note: Why are Neighbor and your husband like new BFFs or something? (I will take this up with Neighbor.) But I do not like these two even getting along while I suffer from baby crying.

I dislike you all and would appreciate you moving or at least apologizing for any of the crying that I may be hearing. A nice bottle of wine or some earplugs would be a good apology gift.

Signed,
Your neighbor with bags under her eyes

P.S. LE totally thinks your baby isn't that cute. So there.