Day 43 - Attack Of The Bride Brain

OK, the wedding stuff is now out of control.

We got a response to all of our questions from Bride Brain and it was mighty long.

First, she told us she is going to get us a bigger size than what is measured so that we can just get it altered, to which Legal Eagle said:

Why not just buy us what size we measured and then we don’t have to pay for alterations?

LE and me: 1 BB: 0

The dresses, we were informed after we made sure to ask, will cost about $160. Ouch. And we were naive enough to think she was treating since she is ordering and wouldn’t let us get them out here. Oh, and since I’m tall, I get to pay extra for extra length.

LE and me: 1 BB: 1

And we were informed that the shoes will be 1 or 2 inches, no more. I have two pairs of small heeled shoes and only because they are awesome. And I know they are going to be those cliched bridal party shoes. If this is the case, can’t we just wear flip-flops?

LE and me:1 BB:2

Now, the rehearsal is on a Friday, wedding on Saturday, brunch and gift opening on Sunday. We plan on having to fly back on Sunday (although we might stick around and nurse our hangovers, order room service and laugh about all the awkward moments from the previous night), but BB won’t know and we are NOT going to a gift opening.

LE and me: 2 BB:2

She caught on to the boyfriend thing LE mentioned and has now asked about them. As Gary from WILAY would say, “Oh my damn.” But LE is very focused and going to take this on full steam ahead, so looks like I am on board.

This is a toss up as it could go well and we could get boyfriends, or horribly and get lost in our lies.

LE and me: 2 BB:2

She told us we might want to look at staying at the hotel that her and her hubby-to-be will stay the night of the wedding…ew!

LE and me: 2 BB:2 my mind:forever tortured



^Bride Brain

So LE had a brilliant idea that tonight, after working out, we will eat, crack open a bottle of wine and reply with all the news about our boyfriends. Again, “Oh my damn.”

Oh, but here is an awesome conversation LE and I had about our “boyfriends.”

LE: You’re gonna be like, “Oh, this is Juniper.”

Me: Juniper? Why would my fake boyfriend be named Juniper?

LE: You’ll be Molly and Juniper.

Me: (beginning to laugh).

LE: Mine will be like, “Babe I can’t find my name for seating.” And I’ll be like, “It’s under JoJo. You’re sitting next to Juniper.”

Me: JoJo? (more laughing)

LE: Yeah, JoJo and Juniper.

Me: They sound like a partnership of some sort.

LE: Hmm…let’s just hope they’re not that type of partnership.

Now I really can’t wait to meet JoJo and Juniper!

Day 42 - And The Plot Thickens

Legal Eagle and I got measured for Bride Brain’s wedding. It cost us $10 each for some lady to tell us we apparently aren’t the size we thought we were. Overall, awesome time…

But before we got measured, LE emailed BB saying we would and here is what she implied:

That we will and already do have boyfriends who we plan to bring to the wedding.

Currently, there aren’t even any options.

So now we have to find guys who will not only go to a wedding in Iowa, but will go along with whatever lies we will be telling BB about our dates if she ever asks about them. I’m going to need to find a very understanding guy. Very.

But while I was stressing over LE making all this up, she did redeem herself.

During the drive this morning, I was telling her how I am not going to tell BB what my “boyfriend” is like just to play it safe, she says:

Oh my God! This is totally something Holly would do!

And you know what, it is.



^ Holly is a totally good schemer. And this episode is not often shown, but quite good when Holly finds out about Henry’s ex. And of course Holly schemes to find and meet her.

In other sad weekend news, my old cat Collie passed away. (Old man winter). Same day as Paul Newman, both had amazing blue eyes.



^Best cat ever.

Day 41 - Doom's Day

Legal Eagle and I are going to get measured for our bridesmaid dresses for Bride Brain’s big day. We are not pleased about this at all seeing as though she had originally told us we needed them by January and then a couple of weeks ago she asked if we could do this soon. Then, just this week, she asked us to have it done by October 3rd.

I am not at my goal weight of: Rachel Zoe.



^Scary! Sorry!

Needless to say, wedding stuff is troublesome. There is way too much to do especially since we are out-of-state. Not to mention, expensive! But on the upside, I think we could have quite a good time being the rebels of the wedding.

Pretty sure all the other bridesmaids are married/engaged/soon to be engaged/or seriously dating. And I’m pretty sure they all LOVE weddings! (Other than LE obviously). So it might be kind of fun when they realize how not into all of this we are. Not that I plan on ruining her day or anything, but I don’t plan on “ooh”-ing or “aah”-ing either.

Plus, have I mentioned that we will have to ride on a a trolley. Now, I’m not sure how I feel about this, but would normally be like, “Awesome, trolley!” But I can’t imagine I will enjoy it much with the company that will be there.

LE and I plan to make the best of it. And hopefully with her help, I’ll have some fun. Well, all I know for sure is that we are strapping flasks to our legs. That is a necessity!

Day 40 - I Know My Neighbors

This can be a good thing if your neighbors are totally awesome or you want to date one or they’re rich.

My neighbors are not and I went a really long time not having to deal with any of them other than Nosy Neighbor.

However, the tides have changed now that I work from home mostly. The first situation began with Georgie. He is a little neighbor boy who looks like he is straight from the ’50s.

Me: So Georgie came by my window today while I was reading.

Legal Eagle: Is his name really Georgie?

Me: Oh no, that’s just what I call him because he looks old-fashioned and it was the first old-fashioned name I could think of. I don’t know his real name.

LE: OK.

Me: So Schatzi was in the window and Georgie came by and was like “Hi.” And then he just hung out trying to play with Schatzi through the window while I am lying on my bed reading.

LE: Weird.

And stuff like this has continued. He has come by my window many times after school and given me a hello, but just the other day he crossed the line. He tried to sell me school fundraiser items (like jewelry or chocolate as he put it). He thinks we are such good friends that I will buy that sucker crap! I didn’t buy because as he asked I was thinking about my credit card bill.

Well, needless to say this relationship needs to be adjusted.

However, he is not my only friendly neighbor.

There are these older women down a few apartments who occasionally sit outside and gossip. We’ll call them the Gossip Girls. One has often complimented me and LE, saying we always look so nice. Now, I would LOVE to be friends with them and put on my best smoker’s accent and have my coffee black and wear some house slippers while chatting with them in the middle of the day, but alas, they are not the friends I have.

One GG has a husband. He’s perfectly nice and all, but has become very chatty. We’ll call him GGH (Gossip Girl Hubby).

Yesterday as my window is wide open for the cats to enjoy, however my desk is in sight of my window:

GGH: Well, you’re on the computer about as much as we are.

Me: (wondering why there is a man at my window) Oh yeah, work of course (making it clear I don’t surf for porn).

GGH: I thought we were the only ones. We’ve got four computers and two printers and who knows what else.

Me: (really wondering why two people would need four computers) Oh, yeah, I know (staring at my one computer and zero printers).

And then today:

GGH: Hi neighbor.

Me: Hey. How are you?

GGH: Good. So you have high speed internet?

Me: Yeah (not having any idea if I have high speed, but assuming mine is at least medium to high speed).

GGH: Through Time Warner.

Me: Yeah! (realizing we do use Time Warner, but also realizing we might have DSL?)

GGH: Yeah, us too. We tried to get dial-up and DSL, but it was too slow.

Me: I know. (No I don’t).

GGH: Take it easy.

Me: You too.

Now, I can play this situation a number of ways. I can start closing/semi-closing my blinds, thus depriving my cats of doing whatever it is they do at the window. Or I can totally take this on and even have like a persona for each neighbor that I snap into. This could be fun. And who knows, being chatty with GGH might lead me to hanging out with the GGs!

Well, for now, here’s to me and my neighbors!

Day 39 - Oh, That's Right...

My middle sister asked me a couple of days ago what I blogged about (she is even more technologically reluctant than me at times, so I don’t hold it against her for not reading this everyday or for not emailing).

All I answered was, anything. You know, conversations that are funny and whatnot. And then after further discussion I realized that my blog did have a premise!

How could I have been so forgetful. This is all about What I Like About You-ifying my life!!!!

So I think it is high time for some updates.

Well, I’m still as adorable as ever. So that is going great!

As far as career and stuff, I want to believe it is going in a good direction. I’m busy and working a lot. And while much of it is still “pro-bono,” In Style has picked up and I am getting a fair amount of work there.

Oh and with the addition of my super cute desk and chair, my room and stuff is getting a little better than it was. Still want to move to Long Beach though, but alas the money thing hasn’t quite taken off.

And then there are guys, or lack thereof. Unfortunately Legal Eagle and I have been consumed with a number of things and haven’t had much time to just go out for a simple night. But I’d rather do that in Long Beach too.

Hmm...ah yes, organization. I was going to try to get super organized. It is going in the right direction. But I do need to get my print-outs of clips organized. However, my files are going quite well.

One that I have completely passed over was wanting a “hang-out” place. This is rather difficult. Well, there isn’t much here and part of me would hate to find somewhere I absolutely loved only to move to Long Beach. So until the hopefully sooner rather than later move, Starbucks is good.

Zany situations is going awesome! It’s pretty standard that something odd happens around here every now and then.

What I need is to be really computer-saavy and figure out how to make an awesome WILAY chart or graph and be able to track my progress. Although this may be taking things too far.

Day 38 - Cats Ahoy!

This afternoon as I was sitting down to lunch finally, I saw Scurvy Cat sitting outside waiting for lunch as well. I fully intended to not feed him as I didn’t have the energy, but something inside me melted as he meowed.

Maybe it’s because I miss our other stray cats who have gone missing or maybe I feel bad because one half of his body is missing fur and his tail is crooked, but I fed him and we (kind of) ate lunch together.

More cat news:

Last night Legal Eagle and Barbar were two of a kind. Barbar had crazy eyes and was acting like LE on Airheads.



^ Tried to find a pic of a cat chasing a person, but couldn’t. Instead, these eyes are what Barbar’s looked like.

Needless to say, I then found out LE had had a double cappuccino that night during her class and never in my life have I met someone who is so obviously affected by sugar and caffeine. It is ridiculous and mostly entertaining.

But they were like two wild cats chasing each other. I got run over a few times by Barbar, but I think he enjoyed having a play buddy since sometimes Schatzi can be a little too calm for him.

I think the game LE said they were playing was “Make the cats run.” Sounds about right.

And of course this did not tire little Barbar out as he chewed through a plastic bag to get to LE’s bird feathers (from her mom’s bird back home) and carry them around and play with them on my bed.

I then had to take them and hide them under my pillow. And while he nosed around, I fake threw them, which he fell for and eventually left me alone.

I will never ever have a son. This cat is my only one. Daughters would never act like this!

Tonight should be just as interesting…

Day 37 - Just A Bunch Of Little Things...

This weekend was Joel McHale and it was great! He even made a little fun of us when we yelled and cheered for him mentioning Vegas. All in all, a success.

But beforehand, Legal Eagle and I took the bus to the event and cabbed home, but on our way there, we got to stand near Pink/Belly shirt Girl! She is my favorite hooker in our town. Plus we got to hear her speak and it was magical.

It can only be compared to a honey-glazed ashtray.

But more importantly, here is a conversation LE and I had yesterday afternoon:

Me: I need a nanny.

LE: For Barbar?

Me: No, for me. Then they could put me to bed and stuff.

LE: Oh. Did you know you can adopt adults? Like I could adopt you.

Me: Want to? Wait, can someone younger adopt someone older? (as LE is slightly younger than me)

LE: Yeah, I think so.

Me: Cool.

So, maybe LE will adopt me sometime and then she can hire me a nanny. A girl can dream…

In other news, I got Season 1 and part of the upcoming season of Californication from Buzzine, who I edit for. LE and I are now huge fans. I’m quite impressed.

And in other other news, I hate transcribing interviews and for some reason people keep sending me more. Yuck!

OK, back to work-ish!

Day 36 - Was She Right??

I’m working a lot right now - editing, writing, covering events and all that good stuff.

Which made me wonder:

It’s almost the end of Sept/beginning of Oct. And the psychic told me that I would have my career turned around for the best around this time. Could she possibly be right??



^Oh my awesome psychic!

I mean, she has been wrong on a few levels:

- My parents did not try to drag me back to Chicago

- The Doc is not back in the picture whatsoever

- I have not come into a mysterious sum of money (or did I when I had my meltdown?)

- I have not taken a trip nor will I likely take one soon

But she has been right about:

- LE did pass her Baby Bar

and that’s about it.

Well, maybe she will get one thing right about each of us. Then I won’t have to consider myself unlucky in love!

I’m covering the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Party tomorrow and this feels completely amazing (plus I’m pretty sure no one else I went to high school and college with gets to do anything this cool) (except LE because she’s met people from The Hills including Ste-phen!)

And now back to work because I have quite a bit due and not quite a bit of time to do it.

Joel McHale in 3 days!

Day 35 - Back At It!

I’ve become oddly motivated today about the weirdest possible thing.

I actually want to put together a grocery shopping list today (LE and I are going tonight) and I want t think of new yummy things to eat and I want to buy more fruits and veggies.

I almost think I could eat completely healthy food if I didn’t often crave things like Big Macs and onion rings.

It’s like when Val was cleaning out all of their junk food and Holly saves the Oreos. Then Val asks about them and Holly tells her they are breakfast, lunch and dinner (there are 3 rows)



^ She’s so logical.

Speaking of Big Macs, here is a convo with LE about Big Macs.

Me: I used to really be able to eat, like tons and never be full.

LE: Yeah, me too.

Me: I used to eat 2 Big Macs when I was a kid.

LE: What?! 2 Big Macs! (eyes widen) That’s four patties.

Me: Yeah and I wouldn’t even be full.

LE: 2 Big Macs?! That is…(laughs).

Me: Well I didn’t eat french fries.

LE: (completely serious) Oh, well then that makes sense.

Great, now I really want some french fries.

In other news, I really really still love my desk.

And in more other news, LE and I are going to see Joel McHale’s stand-up show. I might die. This is probably going to be in my Top 10 Things Ever!

I will give a completely detailed recap of Saturday night after we go. Something to look forward to…….

Oh, but in completely sad news, Amy Poehler is leaving SNL and life will never be the same. “Riiick!”

Day 34 - Now I Can Focus

I bought a desk and chair yesterday after Legal Eagle said to me: You need a desk.

I was reluctant because, well, it’s money. But I love it! And I feel so much more motivated to work on things and get them done.

Plus they are super cute: black desk and bright turquoise chair (to match the black, white and blue colors of my room).

And now it’s like I have my own office at home (although it’s right next to my bed). But I am kind of like when Val worked at home!

However, I am more like in Season 2 when Val worked at her little apartment and Holly had nowhere to eat breakfast. Don’t worry, Legal Eagle has room to eat breakfast.

But I’m so not Val working at home in her super fabulous loft. Oh well, gives me something to work towards.

FYI: the place where I usually get my WILAY pictures to post has changed, so until I can find another supplier, it may be a little while until there are some good ones back up.

And now switching topics: I have been eating onion bagels lately, but they leave me starving by like 10. Granted, I am only eating half a bagel. Maybe I have a tapeworm…ew.

But needless to say, I’m hungry as I type and must figure out some sort of snack to have before lunch and some sort of yummy lunch to have for lunch. God, I’m talking a lot about food.

Day 33 - What I've Always Wanted

Business cards!!!!!!!!!!

I will be getting some soon from Buzzine as I am now a contributing editor there! All very exciting and really, business cards are all I want out of life.

On another note: instead of having WILAY days, last Friday I had a very Becky Bloomwood day (Shopaholic).

Dealt with major money issues in the morning after having a major meltdown. And then carried on to go to a press conference for Stand Up 2 Cancer in the afternoon. But unlike her press conferences, this one did not have champagne, but did have lunch for us.

So maybe I’m not so WILAY right now as the money thing is getting in the way, but being a little bit Shopaholic isn’t too bad either.

But I did do a very WILAY thing today. I rearranged my bed and computer area, so my room is looking slightly different today and I’m quite fond of it.

It is much like the episode where Holly feng shuis Val’s place (the first episode). However, I cannot find a picture of this, so instead, here is a creepy picture of Gary.



Yikes!

Day 32 - First Comes Praise...

Then comes money???

As I have continued my freelancing, things are getting better. And I have had a few editors tell me how impressed they are with what I have done and with my clips.

This is a good sign and is slowly putting me in a better mood.

But what is putting me in a really good mood is that my mom finally sent me some pictures from their trip out here.



How adorable are we?! And who knew that wetsuits could be so flattering.

I think that picture makes this blog enough for today. Plus there really isn’t much going on here.

Except tomorrow I am covering the Stand Up 2 Cancer event! Should be interesting…

Day 31 - Shopaholic Style

I finished the final (I think?) Shopaholic today. And I am feeling major withdrawal already.

And then last night I also saw a trailer for the film and I almost cried. It is soooooooo beyond wrong! The main issue is she has red hair and in the final book she hates this woman with red hair and there is this whole red hair issue, so it just doesn’t make sense for her to have red hair.

This may take me a while to get over.

So, I had to kill a little bug today. With a magazine, which luckily LE and I haven’t tossed the magazines we are getting rid of so I didn’t have to use a good one, which reminded me of an incident when my sisters were here.

Middle sister: You have a bug in here.

Me: Where? Oh no! Get me a magazine.

Middle sister: OK.

Me: Wait, not a good one though.

Middle sister: What?! Did you say not a good one??

Me: (going to the magazines) Hmm…we can use People, not Glamour though.

Middle sister: (laughs)

I’m pretty sure she ended up getting rid of the bug without it resulting in death or the use of any magazines.

There was also an incident this weekend at my apartment laundry room. LE was trying to wash her comforter and a certain Nosy Neighbor was saying LE was going to break the machine, blah blah. So he stopped it from washing and caused us a huge ordeal. He acts like he is in charge here. Long story short, we sopped up the water with a towel which we then threw into the washer to clean and forgot about until the next day.

Well, NN then “confronted” me on this issue.

NN: Hey, sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to…

Me: (cutting him off) Yeah, OK, it’s fine.

NN: Oh, did you guys leave a towel in there?

Me: (realizing he might think he is better than us and doesn’t leave his towels in overnight) No.

NN: Oh, well there was a towel left in that same washer yesterday.

Me: Well it’s not ours. (beginning to walk away)

NN: OK, well I hung it on the face.

Me: (still walking away) OK, whatever.

I then had to spend the rest of the day on lookout, planning when I could go grab our towel so that NN wouldn’t see me.

All in all, I’m feeling very Shopaholic as she lies about everything just to save herself a little trouble. Plus I’m pretty sure she would understand saving the good magazines.



Oh yeah, and I just took a quick quiz on the Shopaholic website and I am a Becky Bloomwood in the making. Things I can be proud of…

Day 30 - A Bit To Catch Me Up

Yesterday morning Legal Eagle and I were getting ready to go to the gym and here is how it went:

Me ready and waiting in the livingroom.

LE: (some muffled talking in her room)

Me: What?

LE: (more muffled talking)

Me: What? Are you talking to me? (as I proceed to walk to LE’s room)

Upon entering LE’s room, I do not see her, but do see her closet door closed and Barbar (my cat) laying on her floor near her closet.

Me: What are you doing?

LE: Can you help me out of here?

Yes, LE was locked in her closet by my cat.

And I know LE will want to kill me for posting this, but it is like right out of a WILAY episode! Plus it has given me nonstop laughter every time I think about it.

On another note, I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I was trying to get a job and I had to go through all these obstacles and chase down the person I was interviewing with and all sorts of craziness. Like I needed to dream this, could it all be more obvious.

But it’s kind of like when Holly dreams about being in Gilligan’s Island.



^ I’ve been waiting for a reason to use this picture.

And finally, on a completely different note: LE and I have an old roomie (who I will refer to as Bride Brain or BB) who has put us in her wedding.

Note: we rarely talk and we dislike her groom of choice. Also, she emailed us yesterday about getting our measurements in and all sorts of stuff about her new house, blah blah and did not once ask anything about us. LE and I are not pleased.

I am not happy with this wedding. And I don’t have a date yet. What’s a girl to do?!