Uuggghhhh...
So, remember how I was all "Cute guys! cute guys!" not too long ago? Now I'm on a different page and, actually, I think I have been there for a while.
I'll start from the end and go back in time.
Last night Legal Eagle and I went out with some people (including the guy she is dating!). Long story short, she wants to set me up with Double B's roommate...we'll call him RJ. How did we get to this? Back up!
LE has been going out with Double B and chatting and whatever. LE and Casey have been catching up on this and are working hard to set me up.
Side note: I know...set ups. I have not asked for them, but I choose to entertain the idea and their "matchmaking" skills and am just going along with whatever.
Sooo...they eventually came around to Double B's roomie. And now he's the next guy up to bat. And...I briefly met him Saturday night. He seems nice, cute, in shape and at least taller than me in flats. But upon hearing about him a few days before and preparing to meet him, I felt completely indifferent. I didn't pry LE for info or attempt to do a Facebook search or anything. I could have, I just didn't.
And on top of this, when LE was telling me that her and Casey began thinking that RJ was a good choice, she mentioned that Casey was afraid of Mr. Kiss Me being an ass to me if that was ever an option for a set up. At this point I realized that the last time I thought of MKM was all of two days after Halloween. He was clearly a fleeting thought. Usually I would attempt to get more info on him or think of how I could search online, etc., etc. And here I thought I was "intrigued."
Once I realized all this I thought back to every guy I've met or thought was cute or anything and while I'm sure all of them are great, they've been nothing more than a thought at the time and then gone. Pretty much even the anticipation of being set up makes me indifferent.
Where's this indifference come from? I have a few ideas: maybe it's because of the set ups - I have to wonder if I'm being set up with someone just because we're both single. Not all single people like each other. Or maybe it's because most of the guys I've been meeting are in Orange County and dating someone from there just seems difficult. Or maybe it's because the guys aren't necessarily showing interest. Well, OK MKM has hit on me and then there was that other "Johnny Depp" guy who wouldn't leave me alone. And I'm adorable so who wouldn't be smitten?
What don't I like about this feeling of indifference? Mostly it's OK, but my one fear about it is that it's a result of me wanting to be "wowed" by a guy. Some may say I have high standards and am "picky." Sometimes I do feel like I want, want, want it all.
But where's this leave our leading lady? Well, I'll go along with set ups and anything else because what have I got to lose? But mostly, I'm going to focus on me. All me. I'm going to be all about work and finally get back to my writing. I'm going to get working out again! It's been so long and it'll feel so good to get running. Also, I'm going to paint my nails a lot. Weird, right? But I'm obsessed lately and want to buy all sorts of cute colors. Plus nail polish is cheaper than say, accessories, so it's an OK treat for myself. Also I will spend some time deciding if I should buy a winter coat or a couple of sweater dresses instead. I'm going to work on networking because I need to work on that. Oh, and I'm going to read that dang Steve Harvey book for X-mas book club!
And who knows where my indifference will take me!
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